I'm happy because

I’m happy because:

My kids’ bonus mom, Merilee, is one of the most generous people I know.  She is so selfless, and never complains about all of the things she does for other people, she just does them, with no thought of what is in it for her.  She cares for the kids, and loves them as if they were her own flesh and blood children.  She does for them things that I can’t do right now.  She never balks.  And she treats me as a sister, or close enough to it, and I appreciate it so much.  I think that the Lord blessed me, and the children, so very much when he sent that good woman into our lives.  If my ex screws this up, the kids and I are keeping her.  LoL

I saw my sister for a little bit today, and she brought a DVD recording of her 4D ultrasound.  I’ll tell you what, those things are creepy!  But cool, too, I guess.  I prefer the old fashioned ultrasound, though.  I’m excited for my nephew, Liam, to get here!

I am happy because:
This morning I still have gasoline in my tank, thanks to the generosity of a good friend of mine.  I have had my gas siphoned so many times because I live in a bit of a bad sort of neighborhood.  My friend bought me a gas cap, and I’m so grateful!

I’m also happy because I was able to wash a load of laundry this morning.  While the clothes may never end up folded, at least they are clean!

I am happy because I have bananas, and they are ripe and edible.  Again, thanks to a sweet friend who bought them for me, along with some other foods that we were in need of.  Again, I’m so grateful!

I am happy because I have my own bed in my own bedroom, and have actually been able to sleep on it at night, which is a whole heck of a lot better than sleeping on the couch.  (I am glad I have a couch, don’t get me wrong!)  I love my bed.  It’s a nice, comfy, pillow-top twin-sized bed.

I am happy because I am working with my client that I have had for over a year now.  It’s nice to have someone I am comfortable with, who is comfortable with me, and that the routine is already in place for.  It makes coming back to work after such a long “break” a lot easier.

I am happy because I am capable of doing more today than I was capable of doing last week.  Granted, it might not be much more, and it might exhaust me completely, but it’s something, and something is better than nothing, and I’m grateful for each and every seemingly little thing I am able to do.

I am happy because I am hopeful.

I am happy because I am loved.

I am happy because I am finally learning to love myself..

I am happy because:

I realize that my exhaustion makes me teary, but teary doesn’t mean that I’m sad.  Just tired.  And tired and sad aren’t buddies today.  I’m tired because we had a very full day.  I took the kids to church, and had a nice time there.  Afterwards I took the older two girls to brighten someone’s day.  After that, my oldest made a zillion phone calls to try to enlist some help with something.  I don’t know how successful she was, but she was sure optimistic to start with!  And then I made four different soups for dinner, because I didn’t have enough of any one kind to feed us all!  I must say it was a successful dinner, one I will have to try again.  We also spent time talking, planning, sharing, and more.  And for the past hour I was baking lemon-poppy seed quick bread loaves.  Mmmm.  The house smells divine.

So, I’m happy because I’ve had an exhausting day.

There are many little things I am happy about in that exhausting day.  But to add to it:  I’m happy for the quiet in the house tonight . . . the peace.  The soft murmurs of Amber and Becca as they (get along!!!!!!) talk quietly together in the other room.  The sound of my Deeds sleeping in her bed (in her BED!!!!!!!!!!!) tonight.  The whisper of pages being turned as Robbie reads before lights out.  The clicking of my ceiling fan cord against the light fixture.  The clickety clack of my fingers across the keyboard as I type this.  And the warm, purring, bundle ‘o fur that is keeping my toes toasty for me right now.

I am happy.  There is so much to be happy about.

I’m happy because:

I have been blessed to work for an employer that affords me some flexibility, while giving me an opportunity to grow as a person.  I am happy because I work in a field where there is job security.  I am happy because my employer regularly recognizes me for good work.  I am happy because I am good at what I do, and  also because I know ways in which I can improve.  I am happy that I have had an opportunity to be in the shoes of my clients, so to speak, so that I could develop greater empathy for their difficulties, and a greater appreciation for the things, no matter how seemingly small, that a caregiver performs on a daily basis.

I am happy to have been able to get so much done today.  I saw earlier a woman with a cane who was having difficulty walking, and I felt such a surge of gratitude for my ability to walk, to hop over a curb in front of me, to bend and lift and twist.  I am happy that I was able to drive my own car to the store and pick up a few things, without any help from any outside sources such as a walker or a grabber or a power scooter.  I am happy that I was able to run myself to a doctor, and get myself onto and off of an exam table.  I am happy that my energy level didn’t tank completely today, and I am happy to have been able to take a nice little nap in the middle

I am happy because all of these things that I have are given me, or sometimes taken away, for my own good and benefit.  I am happy because I know it, and I mean really know it.  Not fluffy words know it.  I know it deep down in my bones..  And what greater happiness can one ask for than this?  Knowledge is a powerful, powerful thing.

I am happy because:

Today I downloaded the Book of Mormon audio from the church’s website.  I have been able to listen to it as I got things done today.  It is amazing how much I could get done today while listening to the scriptures.  I would have thought I would not have gotten so much out of the scriptures by listening, but the inflections of the man’s voice as he read aloud the words I have so often read myself, well, it helped me so much to understand little things I hadn’t understood before, or at least understood differently.  And it helped me to unwind, listening to those words while I did other things, it helped me to take my mind away from the tasks at hand.  It was such a good thing.  I don’t know why I never tried it before, and I’m not sure what prompted me to try it today, but I’m glad I did.  I’m sure it was inspiration! 

My employer called me today to give me a few shifts in the coming week.  They are short, 2-hour shifts, but they are nearby, so the gas won’t be such as issue.  I am excited to start working again, and I’m grateful that my staffer is willing to start me off easy like this so that I can get back into my groove.  I am going to miss my old client, though, and I do hope I will be able to see her again.  I sure get attached to the people I take care of!

I am going to sleep in my bed tonight, in my “new” (to me) bedroom.  It is still a disaster, but it is looking better every day!  I can hardly wait to get my sewing area set up as well, and get that fabric stash under control!  I have insane amounts of fabric, and I need to start building my inventory.  I’m also excited about designing and entering a block in a local charity contest hosted by 3 Dudes Quilting.  I love that store, and I’m so happy that my friend brought me there the other day!  This challenge has really gotten me excited, and has my creative juices flowin!

I am looking forward to tomorrow, despite the large amount of work I have waiting for me.  I am looking forward to getting back to normal as quickly as the good Lord sees fit!

I need this today.  My chemo is interferring with my ability to do the things I want to do.  I miss my children, and I am wishing for my energy to return to me, I am generally throwing myself a pity party.  I need to stop, breathe, and count up some of my happies

I am happy because: